do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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