oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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