she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
