What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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