Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
