Just fell off a train. Bad.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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