guess who came home with a hottie last night
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house