so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
