i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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