Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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