I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize