from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
