I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
