we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize