I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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