3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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