I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
