I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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