Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize