I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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