So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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