after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
