I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Pants are for mortals
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize