I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
