UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize