i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
