so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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