come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
