I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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