just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
