Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Why can't burritos get me drunk
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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