you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Vodka?
Forever.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
