My liver just broke up with me...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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