Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
