I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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