Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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