Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
