I think I just saw someone hide a body.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
