I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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