At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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