The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
