I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
