He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
