ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
