the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant