i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?