Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
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naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
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what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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