I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
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A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
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Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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