Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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