What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize