were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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