He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
