I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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