billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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