Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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