know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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