I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
porn star boner night. come get it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
