He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
