Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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