your thong is hanging out like whoa
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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