I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
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i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
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Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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