You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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