True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
